Drumroll, Please!

My new blog is up and running.  No spectacular posts as of yet, but they will come.  I hope. 

http://wagonwheelsandweathervanes.blogspot.com/

I injured my back yesterday morning and cannot do anything.  No bending, no cleaning, no chasing, no writing.  Everything hurts.  You know what's weird?  I had just finished yelling at one of the boys.  Something I try to never do and something that made me feel horrible afterward.  Immediately after.  As I bent down to tell him how sorry I was for losing my patience, something in my back snapped.

A lesson?  Yes, I think it was.

One I shall never forget.

Under Construction...

Fellow Followers,

My new little blogging project is deep within the throws of construction. It only has two posts and is far from finished.  Oh it shall be grand.

If you dare, please take a peek. 

http://wagonwheelsandweathervanes.blogspot.com/

Don't forget your hardhat.

Amy

Guest Blogger.

Venturing out into the public world is not an easy thing to do. My baby, Gang Of Seven, will soon be moved to the back burner, but not forgotten.

As I made my announcement last week, I was vastly approached by someone who wanted the opportunity to take over this little blog of mine.

Although he's no stranger (he's actually my husband), it feels as though I'm making a deal with Rumpelstiltskin. Not good. I've created a list of rules by which he must follow or his blogging rights will be revoked at warp speed. They are:

You may not change the title, subtitle, layout, arrangement, colors, font, links, sidebar elements, pictures or background design of this blog.

All blog entries must first be approved by moi before they are published.

You must write about how amazing I am. (this is non-negotiable)

In addition, I reserve the right to add to or amend these guidelines without prior warning.

So here you go, hon. Have at it. Stay within your boundaries and no one shall get hurt.

PS-I changed the background to make it a little less flowery and feminine. I want you to be as comfy as possible during your visit. See how nice I am? I love you too.

****I am still in dire need of an amazing title for the new blog. Keep the suggestions coming, they have been wonderful. I'm thinking something farm-like would be grand.......try to stick with that theme, please. Many thanks!

Any Ideas???

Gang Of Seven is about to retire.

Im opening a new blog. Something more public, less personal, with no pictures....just thoughts.

Writing clears my head and these days I need all the clearing I can get.

So....any ideas for a new blog title? If I like your idea, can I steal it? If I pick your title, you just may win something. It will fabulous, I promise.

-A

What Rhymes With Mess?

I never knew how much I LOVE paper towels until I reached for one this morning and found we were out.

And to think we haven't even had gouter (old family and French word for snack), dinner, or pre-bedtime snack.

I sent Evan out into the neighborhood with $3.00 in his pocket and told him to go door to door until someone let him buy a roll of paper towels. I told him not to come home until he had them in hand. He obliged and even came back with the cash. Such a giving hood we live in.

.

April 20, 1971

Derek-Circa 1973

Dear Dad,

While you're slaving away at work today in an effort to make enough money to support our daily habit of milk consumption and desire for red meat, we're at home slaving away in an effort to make this your BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!

Mom interviewed us and asked us all what our favorite thing about you was. Here's what we said:

"I like when my Dad plays sports with me. It makes me really happy!"-Evan

"I like when Daddy surprises me with a new toy....and it's the bestest toy ever."-Luke

"My favorite thing is when it's Halloween and Daddy takes me to the store to get some fake blood."-Jack

"My favorite car is Daddy's car. I want hot gum."-Logan

"Daddy....home? Daddy, were-aaa-woo? Daddy go? AAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!"-Wes

These are just a few of the reasons why we all agree that you're the best Daddy in the world. Happy Birthday, Dad. We love yo so much.....mommy does too.

Please come home fast. It's so hard for us to keep looking at the yummy cake we made you. Mind if we try a little sample?

Love,

Evan, Luke, Jack, Logan & Wes

The Unveiling....

Did you ever doubt it for one second? Just in case you weren't decidedly sure about which hoodlum defaced my piano, here's a picture of the one who was found guilty as charged.

Yes, it's true. This dimple ridden, bug-hunting, super-inquisitive, sweet as pie child of mine who whispers softly to me each and every night, "Pweese you sweep wif me for a minute?" is indeed the one who took a screw to the piano.

And did other things last week like,

-Color the beige leather interior of our car with a black sharpie.

-Grab the 5 inch plecostomus out of the fish tank, inspect him and leave him for me to find on the carpet the next morning.

It's reasons like these why I love him more each day.

You Be The Judge.....

Our week began with a lineup and is ending the same way.

I came downstairs this morning, only to find my piano vandalized.

Someone scratched it....in a lot of places.

It looked like this:

The guilty party gave himself away as he stood against the wall with a metal screw in his hand.

Any guesses?

His guilty mug will be made public on Monday.

Happy weekend!!

Most Disgusting Post Ever.

Spring.

What does this mean to me? A LOT. No one in the universe gets spring fever as intensely as I do. I'm become a crazed lunatic doing my best to organize, clean, and freshen up the house. It's like the nesting phase of pregnancy....without the pregnant part.

Yesterday I spent 3 hours organizing our laundry room. Who does that? It's not even a laundry room anyway. Just a dumb entryway leading in from the garage where our washer and dryer happen to be located. What a joke. A family with 7 people (6 of them being dirty boys) needs a laundry room. Anyway, our fake laundry room was in dire need of attention. I found things high on the shelves that hadn't been touched since we moved here in 2003. Go ahead, say it. NASTY!

I know.

After that, I stood at the kitchen island and stared at the mantle thinking of other improvements I could make. LOVE my mantle - thanks, Dad. I closed my eyes and made a wish that the Pier One fairy would instantly fly before me and present me with a gift certificate to brighten up my house. I imagined orange, yellow and pale blue spring-like decor smiling back at me. Just as little sparrows began to fly around me and things were becoming cheery and new, I was interrupted by Jack. "Mom.....why are you standing there with your eyes closed?"

My boys think I've lost it.

My day continued with re-arrangement and cleaning. I paid special attention to walls and baseboards. As I made my way down the staircase, washing the banister, spindles and daily grime from the walls, I came across something. A little something, but big with problems. Something heinous and detestable. Something that will haunt me for a long time.

A booger.

Yes, it's true. I found a booger crusted to my wall! (I'm gagging as I write this.)

I took a moment, rubbed my eyes and sat down on the nearest step. I immediately did my best to recount any friends or neighbors' kids that my boys have had into the house. This COULD NOT be the doing of MY perfect children.

How could I go wrong? My boys don't even pick their noses. Well, not very often. Well, except Logan. Logan picks all day long. But I've never seen him actually 'get' anything. I think it's just a habit. When I see the boys even scratch their nose, I freak. I'm quick to point out children who do pick their nose (at the store, park, or anywhere else we may travel), and show my kids how disgusting it looks. I also tell little white lies about horrible diseases you can catch from nose picking and how everyone has a snail in their nose that will bite your finger off if you stick it in too far (props to Mom and Shel Silverstein).

Even if it was one of my boys who picked their nose, wiping it on the wall brings it to an entirely new level.

I will find out who graced my walls with their snot. By line-up (something I'm famous for), interrogation, or DNA, I will find the culprit.

And he shall suffer.

Boogers never have been, and never will be included with springtime decorating at this house.

My apologies to Pocky, who may never speak to me again for using the words booger and snot within the same post.

Worthy Enough For The Louvre.

It's another busy day. I've only had one cup of coffee, which is not nearly enough to even fathom my to-do list for the day. I have lots I'd like to write about, like Tiger Woods' new Nike commercial and other things that make my skin crawl.

Maybe I'll get some writing time later on....maybe.

For now, I leave you with a magnificent piece of art created by Jack.

"Hang this on the fridge!" he demanded. "I drew it for Daddy. It's a picture of a boy going pee pee. He's gonna be so excited!."

Here's hoping today brings you the amount of joy equal to a picture of a boy going pee pee.

One month later...

Dear Blog,

I want to apologize for neglecting you. I hope you didn't take it personally. Things at the Olivas house are crazy, as usual. Evan and Luke are doing their best to enjoy the warm spring days and forget school, while I am stuck inside with schoolwork of my own.
Jack, Logan and Wes spend their days swinging from chandeliers, running naked through the house, beating each other to a pulp, sneaking candy, and making prank phone calls. Whatever keeps them busy.
I am sad that at this point and time, I have no holiday to decorate for. I despise this lag time of nothing to celebrate. (Just in case you were wondering)
So, my dear blog, although I have not treated you kindly for the last month, I hereby promise to add you back into my life....for the time being.

We'll start fresh tomorrow.
See you then,

Amy

About Me.

Welcome to my blog.

A place where you'll always find an abundance of pictures of my beautiful children.

They're also gifted. All 5 of them.

As a mom, is it ever really appropriate to take the spotlight off of your darling angels? I hope so, because tonight that's what I intend to do.

Bear with me. There will be no method to my rant. No fluid to my writing. No rules.

Get ready for grammatical errors of all kinds.

I'm feeling whiny. Can I whine to you?

Randomness - Part one:

I'm drained and tired. I'm more ready for spring than I can ever remember. I'm feeling cooped up. I am now a student 2 nights per week and I'm doing my best to juggle my studies. I have homework....lots of homework. I have a professor who docked me 2 points last week and I may go postal. My house is a mess. My slippers have holes in the soles of them. The boys went to their beds at 7:45 tonight and Jack just asked for a banana. It's 10:00. I want to live on a farm. I want chickens. I want my boys to have to 'fetch mama some eggs' as part of their daily chores. I want a barn. I went to the hair salon to 'lighten' my hair for spring. First attempt - hooker blond. Second attempt - meth-head orange. 8 hours later I walked out kinda satisfied....but not really.

These are my thoughts.

Almost forgot, I have a new obsession with these shoes. Someday, when I get rich and famous, I'm gonna get me a pair.

Thanks, dear reader. I feel better already.

Goodnight.

My Latest Campaign.

Chew on this:

As we started to leave the dentists office earlier this week, Dr. Fox (the most fabulous dentist in the world) caught up to us and asked me a question.


"Do your boys like sour flavored candy or gummies?"


Thinking she was promoting a new 'sour flavored' toothpaste or mouthwash and wanting desperately for her to think I'm a fabulous mom and my glorious children have perfectly- beautiful teeth, my answer was immediate.

"Oh yes! I proudly exclaimed. They love sour things." Held at her side, I could see a shiny and brightly-colored pamphlet that was about to jump from her hand to mine.


"Well. She said. Her tone no longer bubbly. You need to read this. It's a new study on the effects of consuming fruity or sour candies. It's quite disturbing. I think you may want to change a few of their eating habits."


"OK." I said. My pride had ditched me. I placed the pamphlet in my purse and headed for the car. Head hung low....real low.


Dr. Fox was right, the results of the study and the picture included on the pamphlet were rather disturbing. So disturbing, in fact, that my house has now been cleared of all things sour and most things gummy.


I feel compelled to share this with the world. Who knows, I may go on tour. For now, take a look for yourself. Keep in mind that the higher the pH level, the better. Water is neutral and has a pH level of 7.0. Battery Acid has a pH of 1.0.

The picture above is of an 11 year-old whose teeth began to erode due to sucking and chewing sour candy on a regular basis.

Gatorade made it on the list too...

I also learned that if you held in your hand, the amount of acid in any of these candies, it would burn through your skin.....

...and that if and when you do eat foods such as these, you should NOT brush your teeth for an hour after eating. The acid left behind acts as sand paper and mixed with a toothbrush, will scrub the enamel right off your pearly whites.

What would you do without me?

Please join me in my campaign. "SOUR THINGS SUCK!"

Stay tuned, t-Shirts will be available soon.

By Definition.

According to Websters Dictionary-

Main Entry: projectile vom·it·ing
Pronunciation: \-ˈvä-mə-tiŋ\
Function: noun
Date: 1862
-vomiting that is sudden and so vigorous that the vomitus is forcefully projected to a distance.

But I think they missed a few key points. Such as:

-may happen at an inopportune time. Like five minutes before your child needs to be in his kindergarten classroom.
-may seep deeply into the cracks and crevices of your hardwood floors. This will most definitely cause odor for months to come
-may quite possibly splash up the sides of your baseboards and/or sofa.
-you may leave to get more paper towels and return to find your dog picking out the chunks of hot dog and eating them.
-may happen when you are wearing the only pair of clean jeans you own. You may (inevitably) kneel in vomit.
-may cause surrounding children to marvel....then dry heave shortly thereafter. This will cause the mother to panic and yell.
-may happen the very day your husband left for Pittsburgh on business.

And last, but not least -

-If you are Amy Olivas, all possibilities listed above WILL happen.

Today I....

...Woke with a snuggly boy at my side. A snuggly, WET boy at my side.

Because I love washing sheets 3 times per week.

...Searched high and low for stickers for my children. Because Mommy's stickers (A.K.A. postage stamps) are quite expensive.

...Allowed this child to color on his face. Because he was quiet, the marker was washable, and the time he took allowed me to fix a meal.

...Caught these guys red-handed. Reading. Together.

...Found 2 stowaways in the crib.

...Contemplated, but find myself still wondering why kitchen tables are more comfy than couches or chairs.

...Did my best to talk my husband out of an upcoming business trip to Pittsburgh. Because we need him more than U.S. Airways does.

...Ate my LAST Dove Dark Chocolate With Almonds. Because I needed it and it gets me through the day. Wishing I had a Dove delivery fairy that would come to the house once a week. Really, is that too much too ask?

Today some tasks were a success, while others were instant failure. The entire day, however, was spent with a smile on my face. Perm-a-grin, if you will....

...Because I know a happy secret.

Highlights...

This week had many highlights. Here are just a few ~

First (and my personal favorite) is the completion of a Lego project that took several days to accomplish. I could have finished in half the time, but gluing each and every little piece takes a while. Here it is - Vader's Ride

(I'm sure it has some super-geeky technical name....feel free to inform me, Dec & Ryan)

Wes has a mind of his own and marches to his own beat. Two things he prefers are:

Watching movies from within a Pampers box....

and painting in the nude. We all have our vices, don't we?

Happy Friday Night Party Night!

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dec!

Happy Birthday to the best (and our most favorite) uncle in the

WHOLE

WIDE

WORLD!

Against our better judgement (and having nothing to do with the fact that you dressed as 'Edward' for Halloween and wore skinny jeans), we want to be just like you!

It's a battle our Mommy works especially hard to fight.

We love you lots and hope you have a wonderful day.

Love,

Evan, Luke, Jack, Logan & Wes

Late...But MOST Important.

My favorite thing about Valentine's Day is that it's the birthday of my miracle baby boy -

Mr. cord around the neck 4 times/first 3 days of life spent in ICU turned 9 yesterday.

We had a fun-filled weekend with a lot of celebration.

Evan is an amazing kid. Polite, kind, caring, sensitive, loving, compassionate, empathetic, giving....the list is continuous.

Having a 9 year old is like having a personal assistant. Not that I abuse his self-sufficiency, or his willingness to help....because I don't.

Most days I don't.

But do I? Because today, when I asked him to help me get coats and shoes gathered, he obliged, but quickly turned to me and said,

"You're lucky, mom, 'cuz I'm kinda like your butler. You always ask me to do all these things for you and I have to do them."

Guilt, shame, regret.......wonder. My instant feelings.

He doesn't know it, but I'm giving him another gift. I'm going to lighten his load a little. Just because he can doesn't mean he should have to.

Happy Birthday, my miracle boy. You're right....

I am lucky.

I LOVE when my husband sends me an email that reads:

"lightening"? check that spelling babydoll. think it's lightning.
…who's got your back?

Thanks, hon.

More about LOVE...

I LOVE that Luke noticed the puppy's nose was dry and ran faster than lightning to get a cup of water for her. He sat by the puppy's side and held the cup for several minutes while she drank, until he was satisfied.

"If a dog has a dry nose, Mom, it means they're thirsty."

"Maybe you'll be a vet when you grow up." I responded. "You're so good with animals, Lukey."

"No thanks, Mom. When I get big I just want to put a jet pack on my back and fly around everywhere."

This I LOVE.