Blogless

(Thank you, Lucy, for today's title)

One may think that with all of this material (see photos below), that I should find myself blogging by the hour. Truth is, all of this material (see photos below), is exhausting. I'm tired, and I'm taking a bit of a blogging break.

Driveway decorating...a favorite past time.

A skater dude in the making.

Fun at the park.Headstands perfected.2nd grade graduation celebration.Day-dreaming of running with brothers.
Bed-head issues.Tying yourself up so well that even you can't escape.
Sharing secrets with butterflies.Taking Mommy's order of a large coffee with a donut. (I received pizza and corn)
3 short days from now these darlings will be filling my house with extra noise, extra spills, extra crumbs, extra dirt & extra love. (You know how I thrive on noise and all the other joys little boys bring.) Perhaps then I will find myself sleeping like a baby.

I pirated this picture and can't figure out why it came out so small. They're much bigger (and cuter) in real life!

Here's what's happening....

I have a few things I feel the need to share with you, my many readers.

Here we go.

Thing #1- I was cleaning the bathroom yesterday morning and (as per my bathroom cleaning routine) sprayed Lysol on all necessities as I left the room. You know, just in case I missed a germ or two. Keep all comments regarding OCD to yourself, I'm a work in progress. Anyway, to make a long story short, I ingested Lysol. Yes, it's true. Somehow or another I ate Lysol. (The taste stayed in my mouth all day long) Seeing as I did not deliberately spray it directly in there, I could only come up with one probable cause as to why I single handedly (but accidentally) disinfected my mouth.

My theory?

My horrible, embarrassing theory?

I must be a mouth breather. Please, friends, tell me I don't walk around all day like this:

I need reassurance....or honesty. Whichever you can provide. Thanks.

On to Thing #2-Our cottonwood tree in our back yard is in the midst of ruining our lives for the last time. We can't sleep with the windows open. Our yard looks like it has a fresh coat of snow. The boys took popsicles outside yesterday which were immediately transformed into popsicles with fur coats. It's disgusting. It's heinous (love that word). And it's soon to be OVER! Hurray for chainsaws. These pictures only shed a glimpse of what we're dealing with. (Look at poor Lukey sneezing as he tries to play.)

Thing #3- Wes is pulling himself up and standing whenever he can. No further explanation needed with this rant. My life is over.

Love to all my peeps,

Amy

Give me noise, give me comfort.

Last Thursday through Saturday, my big boys, Evan, Luke and Jack, went camping with Grandma and Grandpa. They sat on our front porch for over two hours waiting for their chariot to arrive. As I watched the RV travel down our street, initial thoughts of the freedom I was about to experience in reverting back to a mother of two raced through my mind.

I had ONLY...

2 children to feed

2 mouths to wipe

2 car seats to buckle

2 kids to entertain

2 boys to chase

2 brothers in the tub

You get the idea.

I had a long list of errands to run and things I would enjoy during all of my extra 'mommy time'.

The big boys had only been gone a few hours when I decided to load the car and venture out with my '2' children. How easy is this? I thought. My arrogance burst before my eyes and I was quickly snapped back into reality when all of the sudden, my '2' children were locked inside my car. As I watched the firefighters' attempts to free my children, something became very prevalent. Having only 2 children really throws me off my game.

The next 48 hours were hard for me. I need (and thrive upon) the following:

5 children to feed

5 mouths to wipe

5 car seats/boosters to buckle

5 kids to entertain

5 boys to chase

5 brothers in the tub

You get the idea.

I missed the noise in my house that having a large brood creates. I missed the brotherly battles that seem to erupt every 3 minutes. I missed being a short-order cook and preparing 5 different meals 3 times a day. I missed the sight of an overly-crowded bathtub. I missed 5 visitors on my bed every morning at 6AM SHARP.

On Saturday afternoon, I sat on our front porch and eagerly waited for this to arrive:

I'd like to report that I am sleeping more peacefully now that they are all under one roof again.

Side note: If your kids are ever camping, don't read this book while they're gone:
I learned the hard way.

My boys had a blast and have not stopped talking about fishing, roasting marshmallows, and meeting Yogi Bear.

I'm having a blast with my noisy house, wrestling matches, and nonstop cooking. Things are back to normal, and it's the best feeling in the world.

Rescue 911...Logan style.

(He looks innocent enough, right?)

And the conversation earlier today went something like this:

"Littleton Fire Department, what's your emergency?"

"Um, well....it's not exactly an emergency...I mean I guess it is...um......my child locked me out of the car."

"So your child is locked inside your vehicle?"

"Yes."

"How old is he/she?"

"He's 2."

"That's good, maybe he can unlock the door for us. Go ahead and try to get him to unlock the car."

"I've been trying that."

"Great! Is he trying?"

"No, he's laughing at me."

"OK. Is he in any kind of danger or distress?"

"No, I think he likes it."

"What's he doing now?"

"He's eating his 7th piece of gum. He also ate my chapstick."

"OK, it doesn't sound like we'll get much help from him, I'll send the fire department right away."

"Thanks. Could you please tell them that sirens won't be necessary?"

"Will do."

Less than 5 minutes later, this was sitting in front of our house-

I heard them coming from miles away. thankfully, they were indeed very kind and turned their sirens off as they entered the hood. 3 of them tried for over 15 minutes to unlock our car and rescue my 2 young cubs. One was peacefully sleeping in his car seat, while the other was doing his best to explore everything that is usually OFF LIMITS. He knew his brief hiatus from parental control was rapidly coming to an end.

Despite their best efforts, our doors would not unlock (it's a long story). After 50 minutes, our drivers side door was pried open and my children were free.

Today I learned 2 valuable lessons:

Lesson 1~Never place your purse (and keys) inside the vehicle while you walk around to the other side to buckle your two year old. He's liable to grab your keyless entry and lock the car.

Lesson 2~Never buy coconut flavored chapstick again. It just tastes too damn good.

Watch out, he's a biter!

Wes' teeth are sprouting just as quickly as the weeds in my backyard. Funny thing is, his 'fangs' came in before his (top) two front teeth. Precautionary steps need to be taken when holding him. One second he's smiling at you sweetly, and before you even have time to block his feline-like grip, he's chomping deeply into your shoulder.

It hurts....trust me, I know.

I finally caught a picture of his toothy grin as he was swinging from Pa John's swing. (Yes, it really is Pa John's swing. It's on loan to the boys. It hangs from our front porch and I couldn't survive without it. I actually wish I had five.....imagine the freedom I'd have.)

Look at those pictures....

Watch your step, Edward. There's a new vampire in town.

And this one is MUCH CUTER!!!!

Real Men Do Their Own Pedicures...

If only I really did have eyes in the back of my head.....

Happy Birthday, Logan!

Baby Logan

Logan-Age 1
LOGAN

BOGAN

LOGIE BOGIE

BOGIE-BOY

BOGALISH

LISHY-LOU

LICIOUS

Just seconds after you were born, holding you for the first time, Dee said, "Look, he has dimples!"

Ahhhh, a baby with dimples, I thought. This will be my quiet & calm boy who will waste the day away snuggled with his mama until he is forced to start school.

Boy was I wrong.

Dimples mean trouble, and you have two!

Forget quiet or calm, we wouldn't have you any other way. Your energy, spunk, enthusiasm, curiosity and zest for life is infectious.

Happy birthday, little man. We love you to the moon and stars and back again.

Love,

Mommy, Daddy, Evan, Luke, Jack, & Wes

Life's Simple Pleasures...

FRIDAY AFTERNOON LUNCH...

ON THE COUCH...

WITH T.V. TRAYS...

AND A MOVIE.

DOES IT GET ANY BETTER?

Happy Friday Night Party Night, y'all!

Little Monster...

Lately the boys have been referring to Wes as 'The Little Monster'. It has a lot to do with the fact that his favorite past time is growling. I think having four older brothers shares many similarities with being raised by wolves. (Hence the growling.)

The little monster learned two new new tricks this week that I know you're dying to hear about.

Trick number one~

Sit up in your crib as soon as you wake from your nap.

Greet mommy with this

Trick number two~

Insist on holding a spoon while you are being fed.

Throw an immediate fit if you aren't given one within two seconds.

Throw another fit when Mommy refuses to let you crawl with a seven inch spoon in your mouth. She's wicked that way.

There you have it, our little monster.

PS-Have you noticed the amazingly fabulous pictures of the boys over there on the right? My wonderful neighbor and BFF, Lucy, took them last weekend. She's incredible. Don't even think about asking me for her contact information. I'm not willing to share.

OK, maybe I'll share.....reluctantly.

Rainy Day Randomness

It's raining here. It's been raining off and on like crazy. I love it, and our grass looks beautiful, but it's giving my boys a horrible case of cabin fever.

Yesterday I put on my 'Mommy of the year' hat and surprised the boys with a field trip to the McDonald's play place. If you know me well, you know that I forbid my children from playing in such filth. There isn't a germier place on earth.....seriously.

We walked in and my nightmare became a reality. Kids with dirty ugly feet and no socks. 12 year-olds running everyone over. You heard me - 12 year-olds playing in the tubes. Kids sneezing and coughing on everything and everyone in sight. Runny noses galore. My kids removed their shoes quicker than ever before. In my eyes they could see a bribe coming on. I would have given anything to go straight back to the car, and they were on to me. Before I could speak, I saw three little Olivas fanny's heading up the tunnel. Too late to grab them. Crapola.

Wes and I grabbed a table and I sized up the company. Every mom does it. Table by table I politely glanced at the other moms. There they sat, all of them with another mom, gossiping the day away while munching their fries and drinking their diet sodas and McCafe's.

I should have known I wouldn't fit in when I walked in and saw that wearing velour pants with a matching hoodie was a prerequisite to enter. That should have been my sign to leave immediately. (To my friends and family who may own a velour jump suit, I apologize. I still love you.)

It didn't take long for my anxiety to kick in. I must have missed the sign on the door that read:

"Attention all Highland's Ranch Mom's-Please grab a bite to eat, something to drink, and bring your snot-nosed, bare-foot, dirty, coughing, sneezing, rude & obnoxious children to our wonderful play place that hasn't been cleaned since we opened 15 years ago. Relax with your girlfriend while your pre-teen successfully plows over toddlers with no remorse. Please don't take time from your precious conversation to wipe your child's nose. Once you walk through our doors, your job as a parent must stay outside. It's our gift to you.

Sincerely, Management."

It was horrible. As if that weren't enough, a girl who was roughly 8 or so took a liking to Wes. Cute little Wes in his stroller. He IS the most irresistible baby on the planet, but look from afar people! There is nothing more disgusting than having an absolute stranger grab your child's finger. At least that's what I thought. I politely (but sternly) asked the girl not to touch his hands. She argued with me that her hands were clean. Clean or not, I said, DON'T TOUCH. I glanced across the room to try and find her mom. As I looked back down, I saw something that almost made me vomit on the annoying girl's head. My sweet baby was sucking on the little girl's finger. That was it. That sent me into attack mode. I told the dirty little mouth invader to leave the premises and find her mom. She went (crying) to her mom, who ignored her and continued to eat her fries. I was in the Twilight Zone. Every parent in there was a zombie. Completely unaware and checked out.

The rest is a blur. All I remember is grabbing my children and heading for the car. I threw them all in the back end and sanitized all their extremities with 57 antibacterial wipes. A mom (in a velour jump suit) was waiting for my parking spot the entire time. I didn't care. I took my time with each child. We buckled up and burned rubber.

So there you have it. Our trip to McDonald's. Chalk it up as our last. Today we're playing in the rain. If you can't beat Mother Nature, you must join her in all she has to offer. Life is much cleaner that way.