Friday Freak Out...

While picking up toys, cheerios, socks and other lone items from under our TV stand, I discovered this:



I would have screamed, but I held it in as best I could. Waking two sleeping children would be far worse than coming face to face with a spider the size of a Volkswagen. The spider and I had a face-off for what seemed like hours. Neither one of us moved. I decided I had to take action. I blew on him to make sure he was alive. No movement. I blew harder. Still no movement. I grabbed a toy sword that just so happened to be lying beside me (we haven't a shortage of swords in this house). It took several attempts, and every ounce of courage, but I did it. I tapped him. What? No movement? Who could withstand a blow like that.


A plastic spider could.


The spider is history. Into the Goodwill bag he went. (Along with all other plastic creatures that may potentially cause me grief.) Now onto finding the boy who strategically hid him there.

HAPPY FRIDAY NIGHT PARTY NIGHT!!!

Need A Smile To Brighten Your Day?

This should do the trick............

For Sale (Will Deliver)

Logan is making me nutty. He climbs up and on EVERYTHING. Although he is my 4th son, I have never experienced inquisitiveness or determination like his.

Nothing is sacred to Logan.

Have you heard people joke about their kids hanging from chandeliers? Yesterday Logan swung on the light that hangs over our kitchen table.

If we forget to lock the pantry, this is what we find:

Look at the forensic evidence he left behind. As a mom, I can identify each of my boys' fingerprints with 100% accuracy. Those above are Logan's.

Could he at least go for the kid-friendly items located on the lower shelves? You stay away from the chocolate, and I promise not to touch your fruit snacks or fish crackers. Spare me the one thing that helps me make it through the day.

Today I've been cleaning like a mad woman. Scrubbing, dusting, polishing, disinfecting (you get the idea). Things were squeaky clean. I grabbed myself a vitamin water, and turned around to check out Wes on the baby monitor. One millisecond later, I heard a loud thud, followed by a splashing noise, followed by the sound of rain. Logan spilled my Vitamin Water, which landed right-side-up on the floor, shooting the remaining liquid like a rocket onto the ceiling, pot rack, and into Logan's hair. There I stood, silent. Where do I begin? As I scrubbed the sticky mess on my hands and knees, Logan walked up to me and pulled a barrette out of my hair (hair and all).

Here's the picture I'll post on CraigsList:

You're fooled, right? Although, he kind of looks like this:

I'm off to find a better picture.....

Fat Tuesday

It's Mardi Gras. A time the Columbia Encyclopedia says is 'the last opportunity for merrymaking and excessive indulgence in food and drink before the solemn season of fasting.' I'm looking through my cupboards, in search of something to feast on, but my cupboards are lacking in the indulgence department. Tonight will have to be a Dairy Queen night. Any day designated for feasting shall not be wasted.

In past years, Derek and I have given up a wide variety of things for Lent. Some include coffee, Pepsi, ALL sweets, etc., etc. (notice the food trend). Who knows what will be given up this year. I've still got 9 hours to think it over. One thing, however, will remain......

Merrymaking.

BLOG GAME!!

(I Got This From Kristen)

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me!

My choice. For you.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make! (Though I hope you will!)

2. What I create will be just for you.

3. It'll be done this year.

4. You'll have no clue what it's going to be. I don't even have a clue what it's going to be.

5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? THERE IS NO CATCH!

The first 5 people to leave me a comment win a homemade gift!

It may not be great, but it will be fun!!

If you live in a different state, I will mail your item to you.

* * *Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it!* * *

Get Inside My Head-

My Thoughts (unedited version)....

I'm doing breakfast dishes and staring out the kitchen window. Is it my imagination, or is our dog eating poop again?! Didn't I just feed her?

You know you live in a house full of boys when you pull out your stove and find these three things amongst the dust and crumbs: A Tape Measurer, A 'Home Depot' Racing Car, and A Pez Dispenser. "We've been lookin' for that guy." Says Jack, as he swipes it from my hand (dust and all).

Luke's Sea Monkeys are slowly dying and I can't look at the dead ones for one more day. (When they die, they turn an awful shade of black and float to the bottom) I've been debating with myself over the ethical treatment of Sea Monkeys for four days now. With 20 (or so) still living, would it be murder to flush the entire tank down the toilet? Aside from being unfair to the surviving monkeys, I'm afraid the sewer water will have some sort of morphing effect on them, similar to that of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The thought of scrubbing toilets and having one jump out at me is raising my anxiety.

I played Wii Fit with Evan last week. What a cruel game that is. First, it told me I was out of shape, and that my 'Wii Age' was 39. Then it told me I weighed more than I thought I did....10 pounds more. It polished the blow to my Psyche saying "Your balance needs work. Do you find yourself tripping when you walk?" Bite me, Wii Fit.

I despise nerds. Not the kind that wear taped up glasses and fix computers. The kind that my children received in their Valentine's. My kids cannot eat a box of Nerds without spilling at least half the box on the floor. My vacuum is Nerdaphobic, and refuses to suck them up. I find myself on my hands and knees gathering what I think is all of them, only to find the strays the day after (and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that). I posted a sign on our front door that reads - NO NERDS ALLOWED!

Did you know, that no matter how hard you try, the smell of vomit will not come out of your carpet? I'll gladly accept tips on this topic.....

My kids look like tribal Indians. They 'tattooed' each other's arms, tummy's and faces yesterday with non-washable markers. Yes, I do keep a close eye on my children. They're just becoming increasingly efficient with their naughty behavior. It only takes a few seconds to scribble on your brother. Then you pass the marker to him and let him do the same to you. When Mom asks you "Who did this?" you point to your sibling and tell her the truth - "HE DID IT!"

Two of the boys have yet another Dr's appointment scheduled at 3:10 today. Sore throats. I give up. I'm going into hibernation. Wake me in April.

The above is just a mere sampling of my thoughts. I'd tell you the rest, but you may find it overwhelming. It is for me.

Happy Friday Night Party Night!

Happy Birthday, Dec!

(The cake from your 11th birthday)

To my little brother,

YEAH, YOU!

The more things change,

(Nice Mullet)

The more they stay the same.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the best little brother a girl could ever ask for.

LOVE,

Amy

Welcome To My World.

Last night after dinner, I sat on the carpet in our reading room and watched the boys wrestle. Wrestling is as much a necessity in our house as food & water. The boys held their very own contest to see who could catch the most air off of my reading chair, and who could 'pin a brother' for three seconds. I've been invited to wrestle once or twice. Most recently, however, I've been uninvited, and told that I "don't do it right."

(Maybe if I had my own pair of Jeff Hardy armbands, I'd be more proficient.)

No hard feelings. I'm perfectly content with my assignment as photographer.

BEHOLD WWE SMACKDOWN - OLIVAS STYLE

2.14.01

Eight years ago today, we received the most precious Valentine's gift two parents
could ever ask for.

Our miracle baby, EVAN JAMES.

5:32 PM

6 pounds, 2 ounces

20 Inches

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BIG BOY!!

YOU MAKE US SO PROUD.

LOVE,

MOM, DAD, LUKE, JACK, LOGAN & WES

Call A Publisher...

Evan LOVES to write. He can frequently be found assembling his latest publishing with construction paper and a bind with no less than 20 staples.

I thought I'd share with you two of his latest books.

(What you read here is exactly how it appears in his book. I did not edit in any way)

_____________________________________________________________

DAD

By Evan Olivas

This book is dedcetced to dad.

My dad has a black berry and a bible book.

He works at Jeppsen. He helps the pilots.

My dad has a brother named Dan.

My dad has a wife named Amy.

My dad has 5 boys.

My dad has a ring on his hand that got stuck.

My dad is a strong man. He goes running every morning.

My dad is 37 years old. He LOVES the Broncos.

MY DAD IS GREAT!

About the Author: I'm a great kid. I'm 7 years old and fast.

___________________________________________________

Mom

By Evan Olivas

Copyright date 12/2/08

this book is dedcetced to Mom.

My mom is 33 years old. She has 5 great children.

She has a dad that is married to a persen called Annette. She has white skin just like my mom. My mom has a husband called Derek. He is my Dad.

My Mom has a lot to do each day. My Mom has a Pepsi every night.

My Mom has a book called twilight. My Mom has a pink blackberry.

My mom is a great mom!!!

About the Author: I'm 7 years old and 48 inches tall.

____________________________________________________

HAPPY FRIDAY NIGHT PARTY NIGHT EVERYONE!!

Excuse Me?

This morning I walked out of our bathroom to find 4 of my 5 boys watching Spongebob Squarepants on my bed. (For the record, let me state that I do not understand the appeal of that particular cartoon. However, it's a favorite in this house....weird) I had just finished putting on my makeup, and was giving my wet hair a few minutes to air dry before succumbing to the dreadful 10 minutes it takes to blow dry. As I stood at my dresser, I heard this:

"Whoa, Mom! Did you know you have the exact same hairstyle as

THE GREAT KHALI!?

That is SO cool!"

Now, in case I have you wondering who The Great Khali is, here's a picture:

It's only been a few weeks since he told me I was prettier than this guy:

I need a makeover.

Tummy Trouble

Apparently, the past month of sickness in our house wasn't enough. Now Evan is doing his best to cope with a stomach virus. I'll spare you the details in this post.

Just a picture of him sleeping on our bed.

Who knew a wrestling ring, complete with competitors would be so comforting?

I (heart) This Art -

Only 5 more days until Valentine's Day! I LOVE Valentine's Day.

I LOVE that it's Evan's birthday.

I LOVE leaving Valentine's goodies for our boys on the kitchen table, the same way my mom left them for my brother and me.

I LOVE helping the boys create their Valentine's mailboxes for school.

I LOVE giving and receiving Valentine's cards.

I LOVE decorating the house for Valentine's Day.
I LOVE Valentine's candy.

I LOVE dreaming about the days of past when Derek and I could go out on the town for a romantic Valentine's Day dinner without a moments notice.

Even more so, I LOVE the 5 reasons why we prefer to dine in.

Speaking of LOVE and hearts, I have to share with you one of my most prized-possessions. It's the 'Heart Art' that my super-fabulous ultrasound technician, Linda, made for me when I was preggers with Wes. She took a reading of his heartbeat, and beautifully colored it. She framed it with his name, and the date the heartbeat was 'captured'. Each and every time I go into Wes' room, I look at it. It fills my heart with an overwhelming sense of LOVE.

If you live in Colorado, and you are (or will be) expecting, I highly recommend you visit Linda. Not only does she create these wonderful treasures, but she has pictures of Matthew McConaughey (along with other hotties) posted on her ceiling for your utmost comfort and enjoyment. Here's her web site: http://babyheartart.com/

Save The Trees!

For a craft yesterday, the boys decided to paint. I set them up with all of the necessary supplies, and left for a few minutes to tidy things up throughout the house. As I returned, I noticed Luke's wonderful masterpiece, and complemented him. Jack was deep in concentration, but his paper was still pristine and white.

The conversation went like this:

"Jack, why aren't you painting?"

"I AM painting!"

"Painting what?"

"My belly. Look at the smiley face I made, mama!"

Then he turned around to show me. Call it what you want, but I think it's brilliant. To paint a face upside down, but have it right side up for the rest of the world to view is not an easy task! Conventional canvasses are not for Jack.

Our little environmentalist.

Happy Friday Night Party Night!

Wish You Were Here-

"Let us love winter, for it is the spring of genius."

-Pietro Aretino

A Mistake Of Gigantic Proportions-

I'm rundown. I'm exhausted. I am suffering from headaches and lack of energy. These last three weeks with 5 ill children have been quite the test. Last night we made yet another trip to the after hours clinic.

Yesterday I noticed that I am drinking way too much coffee. Can you blame me? I cut myself off after 3 cups (OK, maybe it was closer to 4, but who's counting?). Today the same thing happened. After the second cup left me with zero satisfaction, and not the slightest increase to my energy level, I went in search of answers.

I opened the refrigerator and one very large word stood out from behind the ketchup bottle as if it were illuminated with flashing neon.

DECAFFEINATED.

DECAFFEINATED.

DECAFFEINATED!!!

It seems very clear that many sleepless nights have caused a very serious side effect - illiteracy. How in the world could I have let this happen? I take my coffee drinking seriously. Decaf is only kept on hand for guests. I should be ashamed of myself.

Well, at least I found my answer. Excuse me while I google search Starbucks to find out if they deliver. I may drink soy lattes all day. I've got a lot of catching up to do.

Congratulations, Steelers!!!!

The boys are still under the weather, so we stayed at home (quarantined)

and watched the super bowl.

Can you tell who Evan was rooting for?

(We rooted for them by default)