Wednesday, February 24, 2010

By Definition.

According to Websters Dictionary-

Main Entry: projectile vom·it·ing
Pronunciation: \-ˈvä-mə-tiŋ\
Function: noun
Date: 1862
-vomiting that is sudden and so vigorous that the vomitus is forcefully projected to a distance.


But I think they missed a few key points. Such as:

-may happen at an inopportune time. Like five minutes before your child needs to be in his kindergarten classroom.
-may seep deeply into the cracks and crevices of your hardwood floors. This will most definitely cause odor for months to come
-may quite possibly splash up the sides of your baseboards and/or sofa.
-you may leave to get more paper towels and return to find your dog picking out the chunks of hot dog and eating them.
-may happen when you are wearing the only pair of clean jeans you own. You may (inevitably) kneel in vomit.
-may cause surrounding children to marvel....then dry heave shortly thereafter. This will cause the mother to panic and yell.

-may happen the very day your husband left for Pittsburgh on business.

And last, but not least -

-If you are Amy Olivas, all possibilities listed above WILL happen.

2 comments:

declan said...

yuck. reminds me of me in college.

Alyssa said...

LOL Declan! (me too in a way...Amy remembers I am sure...) still laughing and strangely can almost smell it..seriously! When are you going to write a book?? :)